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If you are reading this, you may be wondering if what is happening to you is “normal,” or abuse.  Sometimes, it comes gradually, or it may be a pattern you’ve become accustomed to. If you think you are being abused, you can reach out and talk to someone to evaluate what is happening in your life.  All men, women and children have the right to live their lives in a healthy and safe environment, without emotional, physical or sexual abuse, or the fear of abuse.  If you need help, contact us at 530-272-6851 or via email at info@ihaveworth.org.

 Remember:

• Your partner may have a rationale for why they’re being abusive, but reasons and rationales never excuse abuse.
• It’s never your fault if someone abuses you.
• Emotional abuse is involved in every type of domestic abuse.

If you are not sure if you are experiencing abuse, these questions are designed to help you evaluate whether you are being abused.

1. Does your partner often seem irritated or angry with you, although you never meant to upset them? Do you feel confused by their anger?
2. Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by your partner’s responses because you can’t get them to understand your intentions?
3. Does your partner act jealous or possessive of you? Do they accuse you of having affairs or paying too much attention to others?
4.  Does your partner make you feel like you are mostly wrong and they are always right?
5.  Does your partner deny (I never did that), minimize (It wasn’t that bad) or justify their abuse (I wouldn’t have done this if you wouldn’t have done that)?
6. Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells? Do you feel like you have to be especially careful to avoid conflicts?
7. Does your partner call you bad names and put you down?
8. Does your partner give you angry glares or looks that scare you?
9. Does your partner control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?
10. Does your partner deter you from relationships with your friends or family?
11. Does your partner control the money, withhold financial information, take your money, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?
12. Does your partner define your feelings, opinions, needs, or wants?
13. Has your partner attempted or forced you to have sex against your will?
14. Has your partner used the Bible to persuade you to do what they want? Has your partner used scripture to condemn or control you?
15.  Does your partner tell you you’re a bad parent and/or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
16. Does your partner act like the abuse is no big deal, or like it’s all your fault, or even deny doing it?
17.  Has your partner followed you, shown up uninvited or wouldn’t leave when asked? Has your partner gone through your things, mail, or checked voice or e-mail messages?
18. Has your partner destroyed property? (hit, kicked doors, walls, furniture, thrown items, threw or destroyed the phone, etc.)
19. Has your partner threatened to harm or harmed or killed a family pet? 
20. Does your partner intimidate, threaten you with guns, knives, or other weapons? Has your partner ever used a weapon to control or harm you?
21. Does your partner shove, slap, pinch, kick, and/or hit you?
22. Has your partner convinced or manipulated you to drop charges or a restraining order?
23. Has your partner threatened to commit suicide?
24. Has your partner threatened to kill you?

 Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain and maintain power and control in an intimate relationship. If you are experiencing a pattern of behaviors described from this list, you may be in an abusive relationship.

If you need help, contact us at 530-272-6851 or via email at info@ihaveworth.org.